The Grinch Who Stole....Easter?

It has been more than awhile since I last wrote. And I have been thoroughly reminded that I needed to update. Truly, I had thought about writing the blog off...after all, it's been a ridiculously busy season of life, and how many people really want to know what goes on in this head anyway? Most of it's not that important. I mean, truly....I'm aware that I am a peon in the grand scheme of eternity :)

But I've had a lot of thoughts pop into my head lately -- thoughts that I almost want to write a book about I think about them so much. Mostly about loving people, knowing Christ (knowing, knowing him.....not just....you know, regular-old knowing), and living out faith in live, vivid technicolor -- more brilliant than I ever have before.

God has been enlarging my vision for the world. I am realizing that I am a bit of a schmuck sometimes. I act like I care more than I actually do sometimes. I have been reading a lot -- books like Crazy Love (Francis Chan) and Radical (David Platt) may have been the catalyst, but I know there's no shortage of blogs about those books, so I will not digress. Needless to say, God is growing my awareness of those around me. Family, friends, acquaintances, people I've never met -- I find myself constantly thinking about what others are going through and experiencing. And caring more than I usually do. That sounds horrible, but I go through life so often in a blur. Not remembering what just happened 5 minutes ago. Rushing to the next appointment or meeting or whatever. But God is slowing me down and he's given me this gift recently. To be able to put myself in other people's shoes. I find myself listening more. I find myself caring more. I find myself crying more because I can empathize. No, I'm not depressed. No, I'm not bragging. But I am very, very aware that the world is broken. And it is groaning. Paul talks about this broken, grieving world in Romans:

"...creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." -- Romans 8:21-28

Praise the Lord that the Spirit intercedes on our behalf. I don't know what to pray half of the time. I am more and more aware that His ways are not ours. That sometimes His mercy can appear as suffering or loss. That sometimes positive growth, becoming more like Christ, comes through pain. And it's for the good, yes for us, but more importantly of His kingdom.

Just this month, I have had conversations with or learned about:

1) An older lady friend who had a stroke and passed away within 24 hours;
2) A friend from back home who just found out she had stage 4 abdominal cancer on a Friday, and had an ensuing hysterectomy that Monday;
3) Another friend who is dealing with some scary things regarding her breast cancer;
4) A friend who is fighting for a marriage that is going through trials beyond understanding;
5) A family member who has not had a job for 18 months;
6) A family member who has some major health concerns;
7) Someone who has recently tried to take her own life twice;
8) Two friends who struggle with deep depression;
9) Two exhausted friends who are taking care of ailing parents;
10) A friend who has multiple sclerosis and struggles on a daily basis to function normally;
11) A friend who is grieving the loss of a close relationship;
12) Someone going to prison for at least a few years and the hurting family remaining at home;
13) A girl who lost her brother and her grandmother within a couple of weeks of each other;
14) Seeing students who struggle with all kinds of issues in their lives, really serious ones;
15) And seeing students and others who don't understand the love of Christ at all.

And there are so many others....these are the ones who come to mind immediately. They are people I know and love and share life with in different ways.

So what about all of this? What do I do? I honestly don't know. I know that I am called to do something. I know that it is big. I know that I am overwhelmed by the knowledge that I am called to love. Not just these people. I am called to love the unloveable. I am called to love the rebellious. I am called to love the arrogant. I am called to love the hated. I am called to love people no matter who they are, what they've done, how they've acted, or what they've said, forgiving every day when I am let down. God has called us to do the impossible. But through the cross, He has made it possible. For He has done so far beyond what I ever could or would. Because of His sacrifice on the cross, because of His death and resurrection, I am called to do what I never could. I am enabled to do what I never could. I am so glad He knows my limitations. And I am so glad that they are nothing to Him -- they don't stop God from doing His work for His glory.

I love that God is not a boring God. He continually amazes and teaches me -- provides people to challenge me, books to push me, thoughts to boggle me, and he expands on what I think I already know and shows me continually how much I don't know. I like that about God -- he never lets me get too big for my britches, which I can do quite easily. He's expanding my heart (still in process). I was trying to explain it to a friend. It's like the movie, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, when he changes at the end of the movie. His heart was three sizes too small. But the day he learned about Christmas, it grew three sizes.

I feel like my heart has grown three sizes....hopefully, it's not finished.